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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Life and Death Struggle



Suicide, and attempted suicide, are uncomfortable subjects for most people. Unfortunately, it is a harsh reality in life. While most avoid the subject, I think it's important to talk about. Talking about it may help others talk about it as well. Many people deal with suicidal thoughts, but have no one to turn to, no one to talk to. I want those people to know, they don't have to give up. They do not have to take their own lives. There is hope. This poem is for them:



I thought about killing myself one day.
I just wanted the pain to go away. 

I didn't  have the courage to do it. 
I started to slit my wrists, then quit. 

As I watched the blood trickle down,
My entire body collapsed to the ground. 

I cried then, I cried so many tears. 
But I knew no one would ever hear. 

I had cut myself off from everyone. 
I preferred to just be left  alone. 

Could I find a way to go and save my soul?
Could I escape from this nightmare, I didn't know. 

This was my struggle with life  and death. 
It nearly controlled me until nothing of me was left.

I found the strength to fight back. 
It was me against my thoughts, a full blown attack. 

These thoughts had to be under control. 
My heart knew what was best, which way to go. 

It was time to feel the warm sun on my face. 
Time to move on, to a brighter, better place. 

It was tough, but I did it and here I am,
To tell you, you can go on.. You can live again. 

Even when you feel alone, remember you ARE NOT. 
You yourself are the very best friend you've got. 

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Live On

When I no longer walk this Earth 
And my life has came to an end 
I hope you will remember me fondly 
As someone who tried to be a friend 

Even when the memory of me 
Has faded away with time 
I hope my words stay with you 
And echo in your mind 

If you should ever shed a tear for me 
I hope my poems  put you at ease 
Because any time you read them 
It's like being right next to me

I hope they wrap you in comfort 
Just as if you were in my arms 
And I hope they give you strength 
When you feel like you can't go on 

As long as my words are read
I will always live on
As long as they are here
I'm never really gone


Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Voodoo

You're so close yet so far away 
Part of me wants to beg you to stay

Letting you go is the right thing to do
If you don't love me, I can't make you 

I wish I could wrap you in my arms 
Put you under a spell with my charms

Keep you close to me for all of time 
Be at peace knowing you are mine 

I wish my words would enchant you 
I would use them just like voodoo 

I'd cast a spell on your very heart
Making you love me from the start 

The spell would go just like this-
"Love me forever with just one kiss"

"Stay by my side and never leave, 
Be mine, and only mine, all eternity"

But I know that will never be.. 
You're just not meant to be with me..

As I watch you walk away and leave 
My heart suddenly feels so empty 

Goodbye my love..please take care 
If you ever need me, I'll be there 

May you finally find what you need
But you will always be special to me 

I hope you find love and happiness too 
I also hope one day my voodoo works on you

Sunday, March 23, 2014

A Beautiful Song

Make love to me 
It's been far too long
My body aches for you 
Lets create a beautiful song

Play my body like a flute 
Your breath on my skin 
Bring me to the peak 
And start over again 

Run your fingers so lightly 
Making your way around 
As your lips keep the tempo 
My body moves to the sound 

Sweat on my brow 
Hair soaking wet 
I'm on verge, on the edge 
We haven't even peaked yet 

Touch me like a piano 
Fingers on the keys 
Make me weak
Falling to my knees 

Don't stop yet 
I'm almost there 
Grabbing a hold of you 
Fingers in your hair 

Then it happens 
I'm falling back down 
But you catch me 
Before I reach the ground 







Sunday, March 16, 2014

Sunday Confessions: Never Again

Never again will I be used
And tossed away like trash
Never again will I be 2nd best
And always thought of last

Never again will I hold on
When I know I should let go
Never again will I say yes
When my heart says to say no

Never again will I shed a tear
On someone who doesn't care
Never again will I waste my time
On someone who is never there

Thursday, March 13, 2014

I Wish

I wish you were addicted to me
And missed me when we're apart
I wish it made you feel empty too
Like you were missing a piece of your heart

I wish you craved to be by my side
And you ached for me all the time
I wish you were lonely without me
And wanted only to be mine

I wish you desired me like crazy
And the thought of me drove you insane
I wish you got lost looking into my eyes
And melted whenever I said your name

I wish you got weak without me
And got stronger when we're together
I wish you loved me more everyday
And wanted to be with me forever

I wish you felt these things
And could feel the way I do
Because I feel this every day
And I will forever because I love you

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Summer Night

Your breath on my skin 
Your fingers gripping tight 
Pulling me closer to you 
On this long summer night

The moon shining through the glass 
Outlines your soft brown skin 
The feeling is taking over me 
Your eyes pull me deeper in 

Your warm, moist kisses rain down
Showering me from head to toe 
Your love is like a drug to me 
I crave it more than you'll ever know 

I start to lose myself in you 
But I do not  care at all
I know that you'll be there 
To catch me when I fall 

Your arms will be there to hold me
I'll rest there until I catch my breath 
I never want to leave this spot 
I'll spend eternity with my head on your chest

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

In My Heart

There once was a time when you lived hours away. 
You would come visit me, but you couldn't stay. 

I always wanted you to be with me, and never wanted you to leave. 
But even once you left, I kept you in my memories. 

I remember running my fingers across your face. 
There wasn't a single spot that I didn't trace. 

I wanted to memorize every thing about you. 
Your brown eyes, your lips and even your ears, too. 

I already knew we would soon have to be apart. 
Even though you were away, I still kept you safe in my heart. 

I would count down the days until you came back to me. 
I felt lost without you... Completely empty. 

When the heartache became too much to bear, 
I would close my eyes and could almost feel you there. 

My fingertips could still feel the warmth of your skin...
My heart was soothed because it seemed like you were there again. 

Rain Drops

If rain drops were your kisses,
I'd always want to be wet. 
If the sun was your smile,
I'd never want it to set. 

If the wind was your embrace,
I want to always feel its breeze. 
And if the clouds were your love,
I'd always want them over me. 

Friday, March 7, 2014

In The Rain

I want to you to make love to me in the rain,
With both of us soaking wet. 
And when I tell you I want you so bad, you whisper,"Not yet..."

We cling tightly to one another, 
Our bodies entwined. 
You kiss my lips softly, 
Then place your warm hand in mine. 

You lead me to a dry place, 
Underneath a big oak tree. 
There, you slowly and passionately 
Make sweet love to me. 

Once our desires are fulfilled, 
We lie there together under the tree. 
Then you look deep into my eyes 
And tell me how much you love me. 

You pull me close and we wait 
For the rain to finally cease. 
But I don't want to leave. 
I want to stay here all eternity. 

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Ericka's Release

By this weekend, my very first children's book through The New Visionary Press Collaborative is expected to be released. 

I can't find the words to fully express how excited I am. Nor to express how much this means to me. I can only say this: It means everything. Literally everything. 

I have been writing for over 20 years. I began as a way to escape my life. I wanted to create my own world. So I did. 

Last year, I wrote Ericka The Puppy for my daughter. Everything in the book was inspired by her and my family. 

As of now, Ericka is a 6 book series dealing with bullying, safety rules, dealing with hurt feelings, etc. The first to be released is Ericka The Puppy Learns About Safety Rules. I illustrated the books as well. 

The excitement I feel is what I would imagine a child would feel on their first trip to Disney World. Pure joy. 

I never thought these books would go anywhere other than my daughter's bookshelf. Just knowing they might end up in the hands of other children, makes me so happy. 

I hope they fall in love with Ericka just as I have, and enjoy her journey. Maybe learning something along the way.  

Thank you, VPC. 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Heavenly

Pull me close and lay my head upon your  chest. 
There is no better place for me to take a rest. 

The sound of your heart beating steady in my ear. 
Playing a tempo just for me, one I love to hear. 

The warmth from your body,soothing and comforting me. 
And the feeling is amazing, almost heavenly. 

I could stay in this spot forever, and never want to leave again. 
Right here next to my soul mate, my love, and my best friend. 

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Spring Is Near

A breeze that's warm and soothing, 
Chasing cold nights away. 
Warm sunshine on my skin, 
On a beautiful spring day. 

Ah spring.. The memories of you chase winter from my mind. 
They take me to another place, to another time. 

A time of flowers blooming, green grass growing wild and free. 
The wind in my hair, butterflies fluttering all around me. 

Birds singing their beautiful songs and love is in the air. 
I can close my eyes and it seems as if I'm right there. 

I can tell you are near, I can feel it in my bones. 
Come quickly, Spring. Do not take too long. 

All I Ask

I'll never ask you for the moon,
The sky needs it more than me. 
I won't ask you for the stars,
Leave them in the heavens twinkling. 

I'll never ask you for the sun,
I know it's too far away. 
I won't ask for the oceans, 
I'll just admire their beautiful waves. 

I'll never ask you for the mountains,
I'm content to leave them be. 
I won't ask you for clouds,
They can stay drifting above me. 

The only thing I'll ever ask you for
Is your love and affection. 
Because with that gift, you've also given me heaven. 

Monday, March 3, 2014

Complete

Everyone says love hurts,
But that's not true. 
Love doesn't cause you pain,
It completes  you. 

It's rejection and loneliness
That cause you to suffer. 
And if you feel that way,
You weren't meant for one another. 

When you find true love, 
You'll know, there'll be no doubt. 
It will run through your veins..
It'll show on the inside and out. 

That's what true love does..
It fills your heart and soul.
And when you do find it,
You'll just know..