Friday, February 28, 2014

Inside My Pain Pt.2

My step mother was jealous of me. 

Now, I didn't realize that at the time. There is just no way a child's mind could comprehend or understand that. 

She viewed me as competition for my father's love and womanly affection. I see that now. As an adult, I'm able to grasp things I just never could as a young girl. 

She knew things I didn't and never even tried to protect me from what was to come. She could've. She just didn't care about me enough to do it. I wasn't her child. I was the spawn of another woman and her demonic husband. 

She wanted me gone. She gloried in my pain and suffering. She would come to me and discuss my father as if I were a grown woman. Telling me things that would forever scar my young mind. 

My father didn't view me as his daughter. To him, I was a conquest. A prize to be broken and conquered. One that would be won at any cost. Even the cost of my childhood. The cost of my innocence. The cost of my trust. The cost of my faith in men. 

And it was a price I alone would have to pay for the rest of my life. 

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