Sunday Confessions: Dear X Love

Dear X Love,

  My time with you was tough.
 You never really showed me love.

  Instead I got nothing but lies.
 But I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

The signs were there from the very start.
Like a fool I trusted you with my heart.

 The best thing I ever did was leave you.
 Because I found a man 100 times better than you.

He's funny, he's sexy, he's a beast in bed.
 Yeah, you heard what I just said.

I hope you found someone just like you.
 And I hope she makes you miserable, too.

Always By Your Side

If your stars start to grow dim,

Then mine will grow dim too.

When their glow is forever gone,

I'll stand in the dark beside you.

If your sky seems to come down,

Crushing you beneath it's weight.

Then I'll be right beside you,

Ready to share your fate. 

If your world stops spinning,

Leaving unsure of what to do. 

Then I'll help you however I can,

And we'll once again make it move. 

I will always have your back,

And nothing can ever take me away.

I love you so very much..

And that will never, ever change. 

Life Of A Writer

  Sometimes it seems that people think the life of a writer is easy. Since most of us work from home, "we don't have real jobs." Yea, I've actually heard that. 

  Let me explain a little bit about the life of a writer. 

  We have a tough job, but it's what we love. It's not always easy and stories aren't always pouring out of my mind. I wish they were. 

  As for myself, I also have a 2 year old daughter. She requires my attention as well. I have a home to care for. And  a boyfriend to care for and spend time with so he doesn't end up feeling forgotten or neglected. 

   I have a page I try to run. A blog I attempt to run. Illustrations that need drawn. 

   I do crafts daily with my child and learning time. I have cooking to do, meals to cook, baths to give, stories to read, songs to sing, boo boo's to kiss, castles to build from blocks, and still must find some quiet time for myself so I can write. 

  As of now, those moments are few and far between. 

 Do I expect pity or sympathy? No. But I do expect respect.  I demand respect. 

  I've been writing for nearly 25 years. I've poured my heart and soul into this. 

 My job is never over. There are no weekends. No vacations. No time off. Between writing and being a mother, I'm always on the clock. 

   I may not leave the house to head to a 9-5 job, but that doesn't make what I do, what authors do, any less important. 

Sleeping With A Broken Heart

Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?

Have you wondered how much more you could take before you fell apart?

Have you cried silent tears, hoping no one would see? 

Have you felt completely alone, forever lost and empty? 

Even though it feels like it, your world is not  ending. 

This is your chance for a new start.. a fresh beginning.  

Wipe your tears away and plant your feet firmly on the ground. 

Your happiness is out there.. it just needs to be found. 

Sunday Confessions: In My Closet

In my closet you'll find
Clothes and shoes.
But if you look deeper,
You'll find skeletons, too.

You'll find the heartbreak
 I try so hard to hide.
You'll only see it there,
Never on the outside.

You'll find hopelessness
And hurt and pain.
You'll likely close that door,
Never to open it again.

A Glimpse Inside My Pain

My father divorced my mother when she was 5 months pregnant with me. I only saw him a few times throughout my young life. At the age of 12, I went to live with him, my step mother and their 1 year old daughter. 

After only being there a few days, 

I realized he was an abusive drunk. I was not even permitted to eat when I was hungry, and would get hit when I did. I was allowed to eat when he told me I could. 

Keep in mind, I was a straight A student in school. Honor roll, Beta Club, Honor Society, all that. The worst thing I ever did was leave my light on at night after falling asleep reading a book. But my father always found a reason to beat me. It was if he took delight, even pleasure, in it. 

I remember being held against the wall, my feet dangling off the ground, by his hand around my neck. Why? Because I had not washed the dishes well enough. I still vividly recall the horrid smell of his breath as he told me he couldn't stand the sight of me. 

I found no love from my step mother, either. She couldn't bear to even be in the same room with me. I began to despise myself. I couldn't understand why they hated me so much. It had to be because I was a horrible child. I would soon learn why they hated me. I will save that for another blog post. Another glimpse inside my pain...

Lost Friendship

This is one of the hardest things I'll ever have to say, 

But I really think it's best if we go our separate ways. 

Our friendship was once a wonderful thing to behold. 

Now it has become toxic and that's getting old. 

A part of me will always care about you, I can't help that. 

And parting ways with you makes me a little sad. 

But I have changed, and you have too.  

Goodbye, my friend. I wish the best for you.